Iridescent
by binge316
Summary: COMPLETED. Set after Chloe sees Lucifer’s Devil Face. He is broken and has decided he wants to return to Hell. Rated M for future scenes/language just to be safe!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first _Lucifer_ story. It's set after Lucifer kills Cain and Chloe sees his Devil face. I do not have a beta, so please excuse any mistakes! The title is based off a Linkin Park song that I found quite fitting. Read and review :)**

It had been two weeks since Chloe Decker had seen Lucifer Morningstar's Devil Face. It had been two weeks since he'd seen her horrified face. It had been two weeks since he'd heard the pained tone in her voice as she whispered that it was all true. It had been two weeks since he had heard her voice at all. It had been two weeks since he fled the scene, battered and bloodied and broken.

"Lucifer?" Linda called out into his penthouse. He smiled a bit. Such a good doctor.

The Devil looked up from his drink toward the elevator that opened to his penthouse. Linda stopped in her tracks when she saw him. Never had she seen him so utterly broken and totally disheveled. His hair, normally styled perfectly, was a curly mess and parts of it fell across his forehead, his eyes were red rimmed, and his stubble was fuller than she'd ever seen it. The crisp white shirt he was wearing was untucked, mostly unbottoned, wrinkly - as if he'd been sleeping in it, and his sleeves were rolled up above his elbows.

"Lucifer..." She said softly.

He looked away from her quickly and stared down into his nearly empty glass. "Doctor. I am perfectly fine." His voice was rough with disuse, but his tone was sharper than she had anticipated it being.

"Have you been here this whole time?" She asked and looked around the place. It looked as if the only parts of his penthouse he had been using were the bar and, well, the couch. Obviously. When he didn't answer, she spoke again. "Dan tried to come here. I've tried to come here. Amenadiel has tried to come here. Even Maze has tried."

She had just listed every person but the one person he had wanted to come speak with him. _Every. Single. One._ He looked up at Linda again and his eyes were more broken than ever. "Yes, well, I am the Devil. If I don't want to be seen or found, I won't be."

"Then why have you allowed me to see you today?" She sat on the other end of his couch.

"Because I wanted to tell you, Doctor, that my therapy is at an end," He looked at her briefly and then back down to his single malt whiskey. Bringing the glass to his lips, he swallowed a bit of the burning liquid.

"Lucifer, I can imagine that the last couple of weeks have been awful for you, that you're feeling vulnerable and hurt. Let me help you. Please," She said quietly.

"Your services are no longer needed, Doctor," He said with a tone of finality. He crossed one leg over the other and leaned back into the corner of the couch and tried to give off an aura of confidence that he didn't possess.

"Then what about my friendship?" She asked.

He scoffed, but was clearly a little unsettled by her question. "The Devil doesn't have friends. Especially not human friends. A bit counter productive - mortal and immortal. Bound to get a bit complicated," Lucifer pressed his lips together into a painfully forced smile.

"But you want us to be friends, or you did," She said. The sadness in her voice was unmistakable.

His eyes moved up and down her body quickly before he looked away. "Things change."

"Have you talked to anyone? Since Chloe saw your Devil Face?" The moment Decker's first name left Linda's lips, Lucifer flinched visibly, and then his face hardened.

"This conversation is boring. I think it's time you took your leave," He said curtly and set his glass down on the coffee table.

"This conversation is boring, or painful?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Tell me, Doctor. You've heard the phrase 'don't poke the bear,' correct?" He asked as he leaned forward toward her. "Well, I assure you poking the Devil is much worse." His eyes flashed red so briefly that it was plain it was halfhearted and forced.

"What're you going to do, Lucifer? Hurt me?"

"That's what I do, Doctor," He said smoothly.

"You won't hurt me. You're not evil. You punish evil. You've told me that hundreds of times," She said plainly and shrugged her shoulda. "So, stop the charade and talk to me."

"There's nothing left to discuss, I'm afraid. It's very nearly all wrapped up - pretty bow and all."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going back to Hell, Doctor. Where I belong," He laced his fingers together over his knee. "I've just a few more things to tie up here, and then I'll fetch Mazikeen and we will end this extended holiday."

Linda's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Lucifer was willingly going to return to Hell, and he was going to take Maze with him. He was serious. He had given up. Linda gasped, "What have I ever done to you?" Lucifer's faux confidence and self-assurance wavered a bit and he raised his eyebrows. "I understand that you're hurt. I understand you've had your heart broken," Lucifer scoffed again and she held up a finger as a warning. "But that doesn't mean you get to hurt everyone else by leaving."

"Leaving is for the best. For everyone," He said firmly. He ground his molars together.

"It's selfish. You'd be taking two friends of so many people away. You'd be severing those friendships forever. How is that best for anyone?" She was angry with him, and he hadn't expected that.

"I belong in Hell. I am the Lord of Hell," He smiled _that_ smile - the one that showed he knew how hurtful he was being - and shrugged dismissively. "Maze is a demon. Hell is our home."

"Do what you want, Lucifer," She said as she stood angrily. "It's what you always do anyway." She stormed away from him toward the elevator and her heels clicked hard on his floors.

When he heard her press the elevator button, he said, "Linda?"

She crossed her arms, huffed, and turned back to look at him. "What?" She asked in exasperation.

"For what it's worth... Thank you," He said quietly. He did not turn to look at her, and she watched him take another sip of his whiskey. The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside as she wiped the tears furiously from her face.

Lucifer picked up his phone from the table. Disappointment filled his features all over again when he saw "The Detective" had not tried to contact him. How could he have expected anything different? Lucifer was the Devil - not some metaphor, not some abstract concept. He was the literal Devil. The Prince of Darkness. Satan. Belial. Beelzebub. King of Evil. And _she..._ Well, she was not any of that, nor could she ever be. She was, truly, the exact opposite. She was _a miracle._ A true, mortal, flesh and blood miracle of God.

Closing all of the other text, missed call, and voicemail notifications, he opened Maze's text thread. She'd texted him the least amount of times out of the people who had tried to contact him in the last 14 days, but Lucifer was surprised she had texted him, called him, or tried to find him at all. His thumbs typed a message to her quickly.

 **We need to talk, Mazikeen.**

He had hardly set his phone down when it beeped with a response already. Shocked, he looked back at the screen to see a reply from Maze.

 _On my way._

"Oh, Maze." A small and genuine smile, the first in two weeks, graced his handsome face. Despite how much the demon hated him at the moment, how many times Lucifer had hurt her and made her feel unimportant, she was still coming. Without question. He could make it up to her and he would start by taking them home.

 _"When you were standing in the wake of devastation, when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown_ _with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying 'save me now,' you were there - impossibly alone"_


	2. Chapter 2

Maze was a blur of leather as she walked in and sat across from him at the coffee table. Her chocolate eyes raked over his figure as she assessed him and then she looked at him expectantly.

"Mazikeen..." He cleared his throat and pulled his knee closer to his body, crossing his legs tighter. "I am sorry."

The demon stared at him in a calculating way with her head cocked to one side. She stood and walked to the bar, grabbed a glass, and returned to the coffee table. Lucifer, having reached over and picked up the glass bottle of whiskey, poured the amber liquid into her glass. He set the bottle down and then leaned back into the corner of the couch once more. His left arm stretched across the back of the couch, his right elbow propped on the arm of the couch, and he tangled his right hand fingers into his hair and leaned his head onto his palm.

"I came looking for you. You were here, but you disillusioned yourself. You knew I could tell you were here, but you wouldn't show yourself. Why?" She said through her teeth.

He looked down at his lap and pulled at his hair a bit. "I wanted to be left alone."

She stared at him blankly. "And now you don't want to be left alone?"

He shook his head slowly. "No. Now, I want to go home."

His statement hung between them in the air heavily. He moved his eyes to hers while she studied him. She looked to be in between stats of fury, disbelief, and hurt.

" _You_ want to go home?" She said with sarcastic bite.

"Yes," Lucifer said softly.

"Now?"

"Yes, but it is not that simple. Not anymore." His dark eyes moved over her shoulder and settled on the wall.

"Why not?"

He stood, barefoot, without a belt and his suit pants hung low across his hips. Lucifer took a few ginger backward steps away from the couch. He outstretched his hands and then turned his back to her. There were streaks of blood soaked through his shirt, two crescent shaped red marks adjacent to his shoulder blades that dripped down his back. Maze's eyes widened as he turned back to her. He grimaced hard and brought out one wing, and then groaned and brought out the other.

She stared at him. His wings were battered, bloody, and broken in places. They were dripping blood still in areas, some feathers were dying, and some fell to the floor. "Lucifer..." She whispered as she stood and walked over to him to inspect the damage more closely.

"Something is wrong, Maze," He admitted. "I am not healing as I should. It's very slow. In some places, I'm not healing at all."

"Ella..." Maze whispered as she touched a damaged and bloody feather.

"What does Miss Lopez have to do with any of this?"

"She gave me a tape from that night, said that when the time came, I'd watch it and know what to do with it."

"I don't care about a bloody tape. I want to go home, Mazikeen," He said in a low voice.

She looked from his wings to his face. "I can't go with you."

"What?" His eyes were wide with surprise.

"I have only just reconciled with Linda," She said and her eyes shifted quickly back to his bloodied wings.

"Maze... I should have put you first so many times, and I didn't," He sighed. "I took you for granted because I knew you _had_ to be there for me. No matter how angry or upset or hurt you were. No matter how far away you went. I shouldn't have done that. You deserved far better, and for that, I sincerely apologize." The hurt and empathy was evident on his face. Before they had come to LA, Maze never imagined such sensitivity to be present on the Devil's face. She would have thought it impossible, but their time on Earth, with humans, had changed them both.

"I can't, Lucifer," She breathed. "But I can help you."

His jaw began to twitch. "I don't need help! I need to go home! I need you to go home with me!"

"You're hurting," She said obviously.

"Of _course_ I am hurting! I've been bleeding for two weeks!" He growled.

"Not just here," She said and gestured to his wings. Her hand pointed to his chest. "Here, too."

He stepped away from her instantly and bristled, but she stepped with him, closing the distance again. "Let me clean these up," She said.

He stood, drinking whiskey, while she pulled dead and hopeless feathers from his wings, wiping and cleaning wounds with a soft cloth while he didn't do much as flinch. He was still bleeding in some places, which baffled them both. Lucifer was the Devil. He was immortal. He should not still be wounded. It had been two weeks, and Chloe had not come near him.

"I'm going home, Maze. As soon as I can fly again. I have nearly everything wrapped up here," He said. "Come with me."

She looked at him and shook her head. "I can't..."

" _I_ am your _master,"_ He said in a dangerous voice. "I could make you."

"I _know_ that," She growled back. "But you won't. Do you know why you won't, Lucifer?" He scowled darkly. "Because, in the same way that I want you to choose me, you want me to choose you." He pulled his wings in violently and towered over her, but she wasn't scared of him, and she didn't submit to him. "You'll stay with me, and I will stay with you. Here."

"There is _nothing_ for me here," He seethed. "Nothing." The red blaze filled his irises again.

"There's my Devil," She smirked and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" He ground out.

"To help," She shrugged as the elevator doors closed in front of her.

Lucifer growled, a low and terrifying growl, and then turned and threw his glass with all of his supernatural might into the stone wall. It shattered into smithereens and they fell all over his floor. His chest heaved as he breathed angrily and unevenly. There is nothing left on Earth for him; he'd learnt his lesson. Humanity is synonymous with emotional suffering - a piece of his own Hell he'd love to get away from. Guilt was more fun anyway. The real Hell was much better.

He turned his chin to the ceiling. "You win, Dad. You win. Are you bloody happy now?"

" _Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?_ _You build up hope, but failure's all you've known. Remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go._ _L_ _et it go"_


	3. Chapter 3

No matter how quickly he downed bottles of alcohol, he could never maintain a buzz. Somehow, alcohol metabolized in his supernatural body faster than drugs, and he'd run out of those days ago, but he couldn't bring himself to show his face in public. Instead, he stood with a bottle of champagne in hand. It must've been hours before Maze returned with Linda and Ella. Ella eyed him warily and, upon assessing the threat, walked up to him and stood inches away. She sucked in a deep breath and crushed herself into his chest.

He stiffened at her touch. Human contact that wasn't sexual was so foreign to him and he'd gone weeks now without really being touched in any manner.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer," She whispered. She pulled away quickly. "Do you need help?"

"Miss Lopez, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about," He said and glared over her shoulder at Maze, who shrugged noncommittally.

"With your wings..." She tugged at his elbow and gasped at his bloodstained back. He yanked his arm free from her grasp.

His glared intensified and he stepped away from her. "I do not need anyone's help. Least of all a human's help. Besides, shouldn't someone of your _faith_ be as far away from me as possible?"

Hurt flickered across Ella's face. "You're still Lucifer. Our Lucifer. I believe the Big Man's got a plan."

Lucifer scowled and rolled his eyes at her comment. Bringing the bottle to his lips, he swallowed the rest of the champagne quickly and moved to grab another bottle of something stronger.

"Lucifer... We brought something we think you should watch..." Linda said.

"Oh, lovely. An intervention. Strange though, because I thought I'd fired you," His dark eyes settled on the small blonde woman who merely cocked an eyebrow.

Ella took the small DVD case from Maze and walked toward Lucifer's wall mounted television. She spoke as she pushed the dvd into the player. "This is from the security cameras that day."

Lucifer's jaw twitched dangerously. "I've no interest in reliving it."

"Yeah, well, there's important shit for you to see and important shit for us to say," Maze said and pushed Lucifer toward the couch. He turned on her quickly, his nose against hers, and the red flames of Hell flashed in his eyes.

"If you still want to leave after you watch that tape, after you hear what we've got to say, then we will leave, Lucifer." His eyes returned to normal and he searched her face for any trace of manipulation. He stepped away from her and moved toward the couch.

"Have a seat," Linda said and tapped the spot next to her as Maze and Ella sat on her other side.

Lucifer moved to the end of the couch furthest from them, but remained standing. "I'll stand." His voice was rough as he took another long swig from the bottle of whiskey.

Ella pointed the remote toward the television and pressed the play button. Lucifer watched as he and Chloe walked into the circular room on the white marble floor. Chloe, sensing danger, reached for her gun instinctively. He heard her whisper that something was wrong. Cain appeared surrounded by armed men and Lucifer growled - low and animalistic - in his throat. He watched, pained, as Chloe stepped between him and Cain, and flinched when he heard the gunshots again.

And then, he saw it. He saw his wings emerge like lightning in all of their divine glory. The only distraction from their beauty was the hailstorm of bullets that rained down upon them, and yet, they held. He could hear his own screams, blood curdling and so very desperate, and his voice sounded nearly unrecognizable. Lucifer let the bottle slip from his hand and crash to the floor where it shattered and the broken glass and liquid spread out by his bare feet. Ella paused the video.

"Lucifer... Can you tell me what you're feeling?" Linda asked tentatively.

He seemed to be in a trance as he stared at himself on the television, his wings a bloody mess, as he shielded himself and more importantly Chloe from the gunfire. _Chloe._ He snapped out of it. "This is entirely unnecessary. I know what happened. I was there. Obviously," He said and ran a shaky and tired hand through his curly hair.

Linda sighed heavily and Ella pressed play again. Lucifer eyed the screen uncertainly, the whiskey pooling under his feet. He watched as he disappeared from camera in a flurry of red and white, flying the Detective far enough away to safety. Then, he was back. Fury evident on his face even through the grainy security camera quality. He fought through the assailants easily, and then he watched himself struggle to bring his injured wings in, and then he stood in front of Cain. They fought, and Lucifer won, and he could see his face changing. His stomach twisted as he watched Chloe approach him from the steps. The Lucifer on the camera stood, unaware of his Devil Face, and looked to Chloe with such a look of relief on his face, and then Lucifer had to see it all over again. Had to hear it all over again.

 _"It's all true."_

 _"Detective?"_

 _"It's all true."_

She backed away from him and her face. Oh, my, her face. Shock. Fear. Horror. Disbelief. Then, he disappeared again. A flurry of red and white again. He was gone, and she was alone. Standing amongst his bloodied and broken feathers, amongst his victory, and amongst his terrible loss. The tape ended.

"Lucifer, how are you feeling now?" Linda asked.

He sat slowly and stared at the broken whiskey bottle on the floor. "Why did you want me to watch this?"

"We felt like you needed to see what we see in you, what this video shows about you that we already knew - that you are brave, and strong, and caring, and loving, and self-sacrificing - when you want to be at least. How do you _feel_ about you, Lucifer? How do you truly feel?" Linda asked gently.

"Did you see her face, Doctor? Did you all see her face? I'm a bloody monster to her! Literally! None of it mattered - I was always honest and nobody ever believed me! Nothing can fix what she's seen! Nothing can undo what I am!" He hung his head in defeat, his hands tangled in his hair, and traitorous tears stung his eyes. "I feel... I wish... I wish I'd never fallen..." Gasps were all around him, loudest of course, from Maze. He closed his eyes tightly to stave off the treacherous tears. "I wish I'd never fallen."

 _"And in the burst of light that blinded every angel, as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars, you felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space - no one there to catch you in their arms."_


	4. Chapter 4

"Lucifer, we cannot control what's already happened. We can only control what we do in the present." Linda shifted down the couch toward him a bit.

He looked up at Linda and his eyes widened in realization and he stood furiously. "You did this on purpose! You've shown me this tape to make me vulnerable, to manipulate me!"

Maze stood and shouted, "Shut up, Lucifer!"

His eyes blazed once more and flames flickered behind his stubbled cheeks. "How dare you, Mazikeen!?"

"Let's not escalate to violence!" Linda stood between Maze and Lucifer bravely.

"It's all she knows how to do, Doctor," Lucifer said and smiled dangerously over her head a the demon.

"And all you know how to do is run, Lucifer!" Maze spat back angrily. Lucifer's eyes flamed again.

"Stop!! Just stop! This isn't what we wanted to talk to him about!" Ella screamed as she pushed herself next to Linda between Maze and Lucifer.

Maze sighed heavily. Ella grabbed the remote and rewound the tape. She paused it when Lucifer's wings had encased the pair.

"Do you see that Lucifer? The selflessness?" Linda pointed to the screen.

Lucifer huffed irritably, and Maze jabbed her finger toward the screen. " _That_ is worth fighting for. More importantly, _that_ is worth staying for!"

The Devil locked eyes with his demon, studying her as if she were some puzzle or riddle to be solved. His dark eyes moved back to the screen. "It doesn't matter now, does it? I've scared her off. What I am has scared her off."

"Have you tried to reach out to her?" Ella asked.

"Why would I do that? You saw how she looks at me. Go on. Fast forward this film," Lucifer said and snapped his fingers. "I am a monster, Miss Lopez, and it's time for me to go back to where monsters belong."

Ella looked at him seriously. "I don't believe that, and I don't think you believe that either. How many times have you been injured for... Wait, have you _actually_ died for Chloe?"

Lucifer shivered at the use of her name. He opened his mouth, but found himself lost for words. Ella crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows and Lucifer ground his teeth together. "A couple times."

"A couple times?! Oh, no biggie, right? Definitely not worth trying to fix a relationship with someone that you literally DIED for!"

"It doesn't really count, does it? If I'm immortal. Makes dying for someone a bit less noble," He said as he tried to look smug.

"Can I see your wings, Lucifer? I know I'm not _that_ kind of doctor, but if I can help, I'd like to," Linda offered. Her change of subject presented itself as a peace offering. Lucifer looked at her carefully and then backed away from the group. He grimaced as his wings appeared.

Maze's help had them looking a bit better, and they were no longer actively bleeding, but they were still healing slower than they should have. Linda examined his many wounds on one wing and then the other. She went to her oversized bag and pulled out a first aid kit.

"It might be better if you lay down," Linda suggested, and he sighed and walked to the bedroom. His feet moved across the broken glass like the shards were just sand beneath his feet. Once in his bedroom, he laid down on the bed and his wings tensed as Linda touched some of the wounds with her hands.

"Been awhile since I've had three women in my bedroom," He said lowly. "Sorry if I'm a bit of a disappointment this go around."

Maze rolled her eyes. If he was making sexual jokes, he was beginning to feel a bit better. His comment about falling would be one she addressed with him later, in private. For now, he needed help. Linda cleaned each bullet one diligently, Lucifer's eyes were closed tightly as the antiseptic stung, and Maze looked at Ella, who raised one eyebrow in question. Maze nodded once, and Ella pulled her phone from her pocket and sent a text message.

"Why do you think you aren't healing?" Linda asked Lucifer.

"I'm in no mood for therapy, Linda," Lucifer warned. His wing twitched as she cleaned out a particularly nasty bullet wound. "I am in the mood for whiskey, though."

"Shocker," Linda smiled in spite of herself. Maze, hearing Lucifer's request from the couch, stood and walked to the bar. She was surprised to see that his bar was low on supplies, but she knew he kept extra whiskey hidden below the bar. Pulling it from its hiding place, she poured a glass and walked to Lucifer. She handed him the glass, Linda paused for a moment, and he took a long drink. He nodded to Maze in thanks.

He was quiet for a long time. Ella worked around his apartment tidying up, and Maze laid on his couch.

"I think I might have to... pull some of these feathers out, Lucifer. Some of them look like they're dying..." Linda said hesitantly.

Lucifer groaned, but then smirked deviously as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Pluck me, Doctor."

She feigned offense and yanked a particular dead looking feather from his wing and he hissed. "Serves you right," Linda said snidely.

Again, silence fell upon the group. All of them, except Lucifer, were tense with apprehension. Ella kept checking her phone nervously when she was out of sight of Lucifer. She continued cleaning the penthouse and sweeping up the broken glass.

"Miss Lopez?" Lucifer called.

She winced. "Yeah?"

"Who saw that tape?" Lucifer inquired.

"Just us, Lucifer. Just the team."

"The team being..."

"Me, obviously. And Dan. I showed it to Maze. I'm sorry I did. I know I broke protocol..."

Lucifer held up a hand. "I am hardly one to criticize others for rebellion, am I?"

"I showed it to Maze. I didn't know what to do, or who to turn to. When I talked to Dan about what we should do, we agreed Maze would know how to help. We didn't really know what she was, but we knew she didn't seem totally human comparatively, and we knew she was loyal to you. We made copies of the tape. Two copies. And then we deleted the original file in evidence. Wiped it clean. Basically, the security camera ended up being a bust... formally on paper, at least."

"You made two copies?" He asked. The tone in his voice was a question of an entirely different nature.

"...Yeah."

"Where is the other copy?" He asked. There was a tone of _knowing_ in his voice.

"I think that's about all I can do for now," Linda said as she packed away her first aid kit.

The elevator doors to his penthouse opened. He sat up on the bed, and Linda backed away from him.

"Where is he?" It was _her._ Lucifer's face paled, and his mouth dropped open in disbelief. Then, panicked, he looked at Linda and began shaking his head furiously.

"What's it to you, Decker?" Maze's voice was a threatening growl.

"Maze..." Dan started.

Linda silenced Lucifer with a finger to his mouth. He gasped as silently as he could as he pulled his wings in once more. Linda pulled a shirt from the floor, checked the back for blood, and then threw it at him. He was furiously unbuttoning his shirt and replacing it with the one Linda had thrown him. He missed a button in the process and the shirt was all uneven and disheveled.

He ran a hand through his curly hair, grabbed a file off of his nightstand and stepped lightly out from the bedroom. "Detective. Come to see me off have you? Lovely timing. I've got something for you. Just some loose ends."

"See you off?" She asked and looked around the room.

He avoided eye contact as he handed her the file folder. She stared at him, and he looked everywhere but at her. Chloe opened the file and looked at its contents.

"Lucifer..." She whispered and looked at him closely. He looked _awful._ His hair was a curly mess. Who would have been able to tell that under all that pomp and circumstance was a bunch of curly, really curly, locks? His eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed, and his stubble was thick to the point of full beard. His shirt was not buttoned correctly and it hung awkwardly across his chest, the cuffs on his sleeves weren't buttoned, he was barefoot, and his pants hung lower than she had ever seen because he was not wearing a belt. Lucifer's dark eyes looked everywhere but her.

"Lucifer, you're... Leaving your money, your estate, to me and to Trixie? Why? Where are you going?"

He still wouldn't look at her. "My time on Earth is at an end. The least I could do is make sure you never have to worry about money...for yourself, or for your offspring. It's the least I could do. All things considered."

"Lucifer... Look at me."

Lucifer, the Devil, could deny this _miracle_ nothing. He tore his eyes from the hole in the floor he was burning and settled them fixedly on her face. He swallowed hard, and she could see him trembling slightly.

"Can you all give us a minute?" Chloe said as she looked at Ella, Linda, Dan, and Maze. Maze looked at Lucifer, who did not look at her, which she took as a sign of "okay."

"C'mon," Dan said. "Let's go downstairs and get a drink."

"Or ten," Linda said as the elevators closed behind them.

Lucifer and Chloe stood face to face for the first time since all of his cards had been so blatantly laid on the table. He was nervous, trembling, and he looked incredibly, uncharacteristically, and disturbingly unsettled. They hadn't seen each other in two weeks. Now, the silence between them was heavy and so unlike their previous relationship. He shifted his weight to one foot and tangled a hand in his curly hair. His face was desperate, his eyes pleading. _Please, Chloe._

 _"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? You build up hope, but failure's all you've known. Remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go. Let it go."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chloe's eyes moved over Lucifer's shoulder to the television screen behind him. He followed her gaze, saw that it was still paused on him protecting them with his wings, and quickly turned the screen off. When he turned back around to face her, he looked even more uncomfortable somehow.

"I saw the tape," She said in a broken whisper.

"Right. Of course you did," He sighed. "You're here out of some obligation then?"

"What? No, I..."

Lucifer cut her off. "No need for any of that, Detective."

"I'm not here out of obligation, Lucifer."

"No? Then why are you here?" He stepped back away from her once more. He was shielding himself emotionally, preparing for more heartache, and she felt nauseous suddenly.

She ran a hand through her blonde hair. "Because you deserved more from me. You deserved better. I shouldn't have disappeared. I should have been there for you. I saw your Devil Face, and I needed time to process and a couple days turned into two weeks, and here we are."

He stared at her and she noticed, for the first time, how truly exhausted he looked. Lucifer looked lost for words as he watched her carefully. She spoke again. "I'm so sorry, Lucifer."

He put a shaky hand over his mouth. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I left you alone. I told you nothing could change how I felt, but I left you alone. You risked your life for me, and I left you alone."

"Hardly your fault, is it? I am the Devil," He said with a grimace.

"It's all true..." Her words were an echo of those that had broken him two weeks ago. _Chloe. Please. No._

"Don't..."

"It wasn't a metaphor," She said breathlessly.

"I have _never_ lied to you," He said emphatically.

"It's all true..." She took a step toward him and he backed away. The tension in his body was evident.

"Don't," He said more firmly. "I'm leaving, Detective. I'm returning to Hell. With Maze. Even if she does try to fight me on that part."

"Why?" Chloe looked... hurt.

"Why?!" His voice cracked in disbelief and emotion. "I am the Devil. The _actual_ Devil. Even aside from you being mortal and me being immortal, it's still a bit messy. You can see the complications there. Now that you know, or rather, now that you believe, you won't want me in your life. You won't want me near your progeny. And that... That's just something I simply can't bear," He stuck a fist in his own hair and pulled. She opened her mouth to speak, and he cut her off. "No. Don't say it. I can't bear to hear you say it. I already know. I don't need let down easy. I've known since the moment I saw you looking at my true face. I know you want me to go, and so I will. Just, please, don't say it. I would rather spend eternity in Hell doing a job I hate and never seeing you again than to hear you tell me to leave."

She stared at him. Her heart broke for him. How could he think any differently? She'd backed away from him fearfully that day. He had nearly died for her, and she had rewarded his bravery and his selflessness by staying away from him. Her selfishness had cemented all of his self-loathing and self-deprecation. She took a step toward him, and he flinched and grimaced. He looked so broken.

"Lucifer..."

"Don't," He said through his teeth. "Please." His eyes were watery.

"Stay," She whispered into the space between them and time seemed to freeze. He cocked his head and looked at her. It looked as if he thought he was dreaming. She approached him slowly, as if he were a wounded animal, and when she stood directly in front of him, she repeated herself. "Stay."

He stared down at her, and his eyes drank in her features. She truly was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in all of his existence. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her and the raw emotion she saw on his face was all the proof of that she could ever require.

"Chloe..." Her name on his tongue was a raspy prayer. "You cannot possibly mean that surely... You can't possibly want that."

"It is. But what about you, Lucifer?" She asked and he looked at her questioningly, his eyebrows nearly at his hairline. "You're the Devil." He flinched. "You punish evil. You're supernatural, celestial even. You're handsome, intelligent, rich, and you've a revolving door of women in your life. And then there's me... So... What do you desire?"

He stared at her, dark eyes swimming with emotions, mind racing with possible responses. What did he desire? Wasn't that abundantly clear by now? He'd died for her. More than once. He'd put himself in the line of fire - literally - for her so many times. He'd gone to Hell and back for her - again _literally._

Lucifer was overwhelmed by the emotion swelling in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like he would drown in all of the tears that he was holding back. He swallowed hard and looked deeply into her pale green, sometimes blue, eyes. He opened his mouth, his throat felt like it was swelling shut, his tongue got in the way, and his mouth closed once more. She looked... _disappointed._ Her eyes moved away from his and he reached out subconsciously with his hand. She looked questioningly at his hand. "You," He whispered, and touched his palm to her face. "You."

When she leaned into his hand, he released the tears he'd been fighting. They washed over him like a wave and he collapsed to his knees before her, clutching desperately at her shirt. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, or scare you. I..." His voice was a series of broken pleas. She could feel the pain he was in in his tense posture. Her hands were in his hair massaging his scalp as she cradled his head into her abdomen. Here she was with the Devil himself on his knees before her.

"Lucifer, shhhh..." She whispered. "It's okay. It's okay." She pulled his hands from her shirt and guided him to the couch. He followed submissively, more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him.

"Chloe..." He breathed and she met his gaze. "I... I love you." He fumbled on the words awkwardly. Then, he talked again, and his pace picked up rapidly in nervousness. "And I'm not sure what that means or how that works for me, or you, or...us... Or with me being Satan, but I am committed to finding it out." He closed his mouth and looked at her hopefully.

"I love you, too," She smiled back at him and brought her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

" _Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?_ _You build up hope but failure's all you've known. Remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go._

 _Let it go._

 _Let it go._

 _Let it go._

 _Let it go."_


End file.
